reluctant lifer

if you take me, take me by force
if you love me, don't
if you touch me, leave a bruise
if you use me, please abuse

....

the little girl sitting on the swing,
swinging, lifeless and meaningless,
watching cars drone by in dull, listless paths from one destination to another.
she swings, the blue color of her eyes just barely seen, the blond of her hair just gray.
so young, but not vibrant, so childlike, but full of age.
where did the passion go? where did life disappear to?
what is happening to a once living life
as though passion would sweep one to the end of days?

...

I’m infected by inaction. I’m infected with infections. I’m infected by gross misconduct. I’m infected by the ineffectual affection of effect. I’m affected.

..

The light travels down the spine, depositing a naked glow
Fingertips alight, the touch, smooth
How could one deny such peaceful calm, to think she would not have lived
If one decision had been made, this moment would not exist.