i just realized... it's almost a year

and i wonder where all that time went.
and know you'd be disappointed that i haven't moved on.

but right now...
i still can't believe it's almost a year
since your death.
because every time i think
and have you in it...
you were just alive... and just now died.

it's so unreal...
the mind can get so unreal

and i can't decide if that's beautiful
or horrific